1 – blitz them – all good zombies know that the more press releases you send out, the more coverage you get… just like more zombies always gets the work done. So forget about targeting your releases to the journalists that are actually interested.

2 – spider writing – typing, writing, accuracy – it’s all relative when it comes to your press release. Doesn’t matter if your penmanship looks scary. Who needs a word processor? They probably didn’t even exist when you were alive.

3 – old, very old – it’s Halloween for goodness sake – it doesn’t need to be newsworthy – nothing is ‘new’ when it comes to Halloween.

4 – ring twice – need to respond to a journalist? Just like any good ghoul – you’re way too busy during Halloween. They can wait…

5 – pictures – no self-respecting vampire would be seen until the sun has gone down… so it’s dark, which doesn’t make for a good photograph. Never mind – just send out the release without one.

6 – Brevity – Ever talked to a witch? You’re not going to get a straight answer (think Macbeth if you haven’t spoken to one recently). Same with your press material – you can be obtuse and long-winded – the media love that.

7 – social media – I don’t think so! We don’t need that new fangled stuff when we can get around on good old-fashioned broomsticks!

Happy Halloween.